Am I the only one who apologizes over things that need no apology? Perhaps you all saw the meme going around earlier this year mentioning they were going to strive to say "thank you" more than "I'm sorry". It went on to give the example of saying "Thanks for waiting 10 extra minutes for me" instead of saying "I'm sorry I'm late". That got me to thinking about the amount I apologize for stupid shit.
I'm a pretty social person. Don't get me wrong, I love my alone time and crave it, but I am blessed with a lot of friends and (I suppose) an active social life. That to say that it's not uncommon I meet people for dinner, drinks, walks, sporting events, concerts, etc. And never once have I thought to myself "Man, I wish they would have stayed home instead of coming like that". Meet up after your run? Cool. Wearing your work uniform? Fine. I don't ever judge or care when that happens, yet I often found myself apologizing for showing up, just being myself.
"Sure! I can do dinner at 6, but I've gotta warn you, I'm in yoga pants! Sorry!"
"Yes, let's go to the 1130 church service, but I don't have on makeup. Sorry!"
"Drinks at 4 on a Monday? Sure, but I didn't wash my hair today. Sorry!"
Friends. This is so me. Correction: was so me. Why do I feel my presence is something that needs to be apologized for? Why am I judging myself by such a strict standard that I'd never impose it on my those I care about? I do that so often it bears repeating"Why am I judging myself by such a strict standard that I'd never impose it on those I care about?"
It's not as if I'm showing up at weddings or anything remotely formal. This is most often spur of the moment plans. So I am making efforts to stop flippantly apologizing. How will anybody really know I'm truly sorry about something if I "stupid apologize". It's not as if those I'm meeting up with don't know what I look like. I am no longer going to apologize for being me.
I always find it awkward and uncomfortable when people mention positive attributes in me. I can argue any compliment away (which is a post for another time), but I do agree with the statement that I am a good friend. That has nothing to do with the size clothes I'm wearing or how much I weigh. I am a good friend; it comes easily to me. I'm terrible at picking men, but girlfriends? I got that down. It is high time I start being a friend to myself. I need to #LookAt my attributes and see the good things, quit apologizing for not being perfect, and be kind to me.
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